Autumn Meet-Up: Take 2
Kuoso’s the guy that did it.
JEB’s Autumn meet-up took place in London. It was Jake’s first Esperanto event in the UK, and he was nice enough to write about it soon after.
Well, it so happens that Kuoso was present, along with some coupons and an idea.
One of our High Street stores has been giving out 2-for-1 offers on several activities. Kuoso, being in possession of four such coupons suggested that we might like to make use of them. One topical location stood out:
I say ‘topical’ since we’ve recently witnessed the arrival of Pen in JEB, a rollercoaster fanatic who wrote a recent JEB article on the very subject. We couldn’t see any problems with the idea. The only administrative issue would have been selecting a time to go, a problem that was eased greatly by the fact that the coupons were set to expire within the coming few weeks.
So, the shout went out, courtesy of Clare. We were initially unsure about likely responses and were pleased to receive responses from people who aren’t regular attendees at JEB events who informed us that they would happily come along, were it not for other commitments. It’s certainly food for thought, and means that we’ll definitely consider having a proper meet-up at a theme park on some occasion next year, with a little bit of notice this time.
And so it the day came. We knew we would be four. Clare and I were driving, Kuoso (minus his coupons!) took a bus, and Neil showed great desire by driving some 130 miles. What could have been a financial disaster was averted by, I presume, Clare’s having told Kuoso at some point that I had also gotten my hands on those same coupons, so he texted to explain the situation, and I tried to counter the bad effects of having “cleaned” the house, thus losing them.
We all met up within a thirty-minute period of Kuoso having arrived, so we were ready to start the day without much hindrance. We were particularly lucky in that Kuoso spotted a gate about to be opened (malfermotan is so much more efficient!) and sprinted (!) to ensure that we got in ahead of the throngs.
We were lucky indeed to have Kuoso about, since he’s something of an aficianado, and helped us formulate what to do and in which order.
As far as I recall the first thing we went on was the Mine Train, which is something of a junior rollercoaster. (The height restriction in place is shorter than that on other rides.) This proved to be the most memorable ride of the entire day for me, owing entirely to the presence of “Choo Choo Lady”, the ride operator who, armed with a microphone, regales the crowd with sometime karaoke and regular euphemism: “Hold on tight, enjoy the ride. Choo Choo, oh yeah!”
Although this was a gentle start to the day, one of our contingent didn’t think so: Clare managed to blaspheme sixteen times on the first lap. Unfortunately for her, Choo Choo Lady decided to treat us to a second lap, which meant that poor Clare had to endure this traumatic experience again. By the time we had finished, she had blasphemed a further seven times.
The reader will have to forgive my lack of clarity when it comes to the next few rides: I don’t necessarily know the names, remember the order in which we went on them, or recall what identifying features they have.
I believe we next joined the queue for a ride called Nemesis, which is some kind of rollercoaster in which the participant is saddled not in a car, but on a seat, their feet dangling.
This was enough for Radio to speculate that it appeared dangerous, since people might “kick themselves in the face” when going upside down. Having been the recipient of Radio’s “wrist punch” (that’s a punch by her wrist, not on mine) I shouldn’t have been surprised at her ability to ignore how joints work and where they’ll move, but it still took me by surprise 
Following Nemesis we tried our luck on Ripsaw
and Air, a ride in which the partipant is strapped in and then tilted through 90 degrees, such that they are no dangling facing the ground.
Radio really wasn’t sure about this, and came very close to walking away as we got to the front of the queue and she saw our predecessors taken off their feet. It was a fun ride though, and I don’t think she regretted it afterwards.
At this point we broke for lunch. Being relatively frugal Clare and I decided to bring our own sandwiches, rather than pay a reputed seven pounds for Burger King’s offering. Unfortunately for Clare, she’d had a bit of a problem making her sandwich but was too stubborn to let me do hers, so I got to periodically get on her nerves my singing or whistling my ditty “My Fantastic Sandwich”.
After the short break for lunch we resumed our adventures. I don’t actually remember too much in any detail, save the ride called Hex. This was quite interesting, being driven by a story. Reportedly, one of the earls who made his residence here was cursed by a beggar he’d spurned, who placed a hex on him saying that whenever a branch would fall from the old oak tree, one of his family members would die. Well, a thunderstorm sprang that night, lighting struck a tree, and somebody failed to survive into the next day. The earl had every remaining branch chained, and conducted experiments on the one that had fallen in his underground laboratory.
This is the crux of the ride. After having the story explained on screen, we are led through into the laboratory, where we see the branch. As we sit on benches either side of it, the lights fluctuate, and we start to spin about the room, under the impression that we’re going all the way around it.
I enjoyed the ride, though the ending felt a bit flat. Clare didn’t actually blaspheme audibly, though she squeezed my hand hard enough in the dark to make me suspect that she had probably muttered omigod at least a few times under her breath.
At some point we experienced the sheer drop which is Oblivion. Fortunately, we’re not suspended for more than a few seconds at the top, and the drop itself is over in two seconds, so there’s no time for abject terror to set in. I would say that, overall, this ride gives the smallest payoff in riding time compared to the queuing time necessary.
We also experienced a two-in-one type of ride called Spinball. This has the peculiarity of being a rollercoaster where the carriage is actually a waltzer. I enjoyed this a lot, not least because it got me some more entries on the Blasphemy Calculator.
Heading into the end of the day, it was time to consider getting wet. At Clare’s suggestion, we had a go on the log flume. She wasn’t particularly happy at the end, since she was the wettest, which she blamed on us for putting her at the front. (She’s ignoring two facts: 1) That the tannoy was instructing that the smallest passenger go at the front, 2) That I went at the front last time we went on a flume.)
Following that we headed to the rapids, which was more pleasant than intense, and not a bad way to end a pleasant day.
We bade farewell to Kuoso, who had his coach to catch, and prepared for one final ride. It seemed only fitting to end the day as we started; we headed back to the Mine Train to see Choo Choo Lady.
Oh, this was so much fun. Clare blasphemed at a crazy rate as I counted along. I got to 99 after saying that I was determined to get 100. Clare, angry with me, panicked in silence after 99, saying that she was not going to omigod anymore just to spite me. You know what? She pulled it off. I could scarcely believe it when those twists and turns that usually elicit the desired response in droves yielded nothing.
We headed into the home straight, and Clare began celebrating. It appeared that she had won her battle.
She laughed. Then I did.
“What about the second lap?”
“What second lap?”
“Choo Choo lady lets us go around twice. You’ve got another lap to go.”
We went around again. Clare uttered not a word, even though I could see it on the tip of her tongue. Soon panic set in, as I realised that she was actually controlling herself, and would deprive me of my victory.
And then hope arose anew. The tunnel. Clare hates tunnels.
As we plunged into the darkness I heard it loud and clear: omigod!
YAY~!
The Blasphemy Calculator hit the magic number!
And so ended a worthwhile day.
We’ll definitely do it again next year, and have Kuoso to thank for the idea. Well done, Kuoso!
Tags: Alton Towers, meet-ups
October 15th, 2009 at 9:17 pm
I’d gone round with the Rollercoaster Club of Great Britain the week previous and we were most tickled with Choo Choo Lady as well. She has a Facebook fanclub!